I am a single mom of a beautiful, wonderful, full of energy and
often trying four year old boy. Technically, I co-parent with my ex-husband or
wasband as a friend of mine so affectionately calls him, but the term co-parent
does not effectively grasp the feelings of loss, loneliness and fear that
dominate my life outside of the joy I feel parenting my son.
I am starting this blog today as I sit
here struggling to find a new job and a possible career. My current job as a
bartender and server is set to end in two days. I am the only breadwinner for
my family of two as I get minimal support from my ex. Think 100 bucks a month
after my son's school expenses. Anyway, it seems I am only qualified for the
same jobs I qualified for before school. Also, jobs related to my field that I
do qualify for, jobs requiring a degree that have no business requiring a
degree, pay less than I made as a cigarette girl in the late 90's and offer
less than my job at an adult shop that ended seven years ago where I received
full medical, dental and vision and was also paid commission. Sweet, I
graduated in the top of my class with a bachelor's degree in social science
from Portland State University June of 2013 which merely secured for me $70,000
in student loan debt and my best bet is another bartending job.
My mind is elsewhere today. It is locked
on all the "how will I's". How will I pay the rent next month? How
will I pay my bills this month and next month? How will I keep this family
afloat? I plan to write about my journey, whether it is a path toward success
or one to failure. I have already accomplished some pretty great things as a
single parent that may be worth sharing too, like graduating with a four year
degree while working, parenting and finding time to volunteer, living off of an
insanely minimal income and how I grew the balls to leave my husband and the
steps I took to do so. Why should this blog be in order when my life is
filled with such chaos?
New goal, win the lottery! Seriously, win it. Okay, since the
lottery business is an unlikely outcome, I must persevere.
